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wMonday, May 09, 2005 |
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I have this friend.
And she's hurting all the time.
And there's nothing I can do about it. There's no way I can alieviate her pain. I so desperately want to be able to do something, and I can't even reach out and give her a hug.
posted by
Templestars at 4:03 PM
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wWednesday, April 06, 2005 |
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I try but I fail, because I'm bad at life
And good in a vacuum.
Life would be so much simpler if I could write it myself. I wouldn't be rich, I wouldn't be famous, I would be incredibly talented and beautiful (though that would be fun). I would just be me, only more outgoing. More like I am online. More free and less worried about what everyone thinks of me.
Life would be so much more interesting if I could really attend VH. Now that's the place for me. Hundreds of other people just as crazy and serious and disillusioned and hopeful as I am.
Life will be different for me, if I can make things work. I fully intend to make going to England for a year (at the least) a worthwhile venture. Naturally, I have dreams of finding the perfect job there and making dozens of wonderful friends and meeting the love of my life. I'll just be happy if I make one good friend and actually experience life. If having spent the last three and a half weeks in New Zealand has taught me anything, it's that I can do this.
I am perfect; I don't exist
In this stupid human world.
posted by
Templestars at 6:31 AM
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wFriday, October 29, 2004 |
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wOOt!
Thanks to the inestimable Darktemple, I have fixed not only my tag-board, but also my table spacing. And I'm actually learning schtuff too! She's even taught (well, okay is teaching) me to make avatars. Unfortunately, since I don't have a decent photo/picture manipulation software package (I only have Paint), I can't do a lot. I'm thinking about buying Adobe Photoshop. That way I'll be able to get all technical. I think it's about time I learnt how to do stuff for myself.
Wow. I just realised how very long it's been since I last posted here. I can't exactly say a lot has happened in the meantime. Wait! Or can I? I've been away. And, actually, I plan to go away again. I really want to get out of this country for a while (not the least because Howard *spits* is back in power). Really, life is just too dull at the moment. I really want to experience something radically different.
And on that note, I'm off to bug DT to give me some more lessons.
posted by
Templestars at 7:17 PM
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wSunday, September 19, 2004 |
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Maybe I'll catch fire
Something warm to hold me...
So... life is peachy right now. I've got writer's block, which is rather annoying. What's more annoying is that I didn't have writer's block while I was in China, but I did lose the book I'd written all my ideas down in. And, damn, they were good ideas. There's little that's more irritating than losing a good idea.
Uni's going well. Hard to believe that there's only a few weeks left to go. One week, one holiday, three weeks last term. And then I have four whole months before I have to think about it again. On the down side, I'll probably have to go back to working full time. On the other hand, that does mean I'll be earning about twice as much. w00t!
What else? I'm kind of considering going to Ireland maybe next year or the year after and getting a job there for a while. Get out and live in another country. Experience another life for a while. And my friend from uni is doing TSOL in South America next year. I might do what I did with Shan and China and go and visit her. But perhaps towards the end of the year. Next November maybe? South America, I'll see you yet.
So... nothing else I want to talk about at the mo'
Something pure to burn away the darkness that hides inside my mind...
posted by
Templestars at 1:26 PM
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wWednesday, May 19, 2004 |
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I've finally found a use for the couch in my room. Aside from additional storage space, that is.
I'm sitting on it right now. Yes, that's right: will typing away in a browser window, I am in my bedroom, several rooms away from the study. How is this possible? you may ask. And, no, I did not open the window and then rush out to my room just to type. On the contrary, I now have a wireless network in my house, enabling my to go anywhere with my computer and still connect to the net.
A good thing I've got it too. *disgruntled* I got a call last night from my uncle, asking if he could stay here tonight. What does he expect me to say? No, sorry, I don't feel comfortable when you're around. I hate it. I hate being uncomfortable in my own home. Why do you think I've retreated to my room?
Fortunately, there was nothing I desperately wanted to watch on TV tonight, because he just waltzes in like he has some claim to the place, makes himself a coffee, lays himself out of the couch and co-opts the remote. *gnashes teeth* Mum promised me that I wouldn't have to worry about him coming here when Dad was away. Wait. No, let me rephrase that. Dad tried to explain to Mum that I shouldn't have my uncle here while Dad was away because I don't feel comfortable. Well. Obviously that was a dismal failure.
I like my alone time.
posted by
Templestars at 7:08 PM
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wSaturday, March 27, 2004 |
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I put it all in back of my mind were I hold you.
Ya know, I like Alkaline Trio.
It all started when I kept on hearing All on Black being played on the radio, and I decided to download it. And then I decided to download something else, just to see if I wouldn't like that as much. I did. Which lead to me downloading even more. Now I have more Alkaline Trio than I have of anything else, even Matthew Good Band or Placebo or Dead Kennedys. Although, it's pretty close.
Anyway, I told my sister that I liked them, but she'd never heard of them. She was curious though, and she went and looked up some of their lyrics on the internet. Now she thinks I'm disturbed. What can I say? They're a punk band, what do you expect. Lyrics about daisies and rainbows? Hardly.
The strange thing about the band is that while their lyrics are... less than salubrious, their songs aren't at all angry.
I'm just trying to keep track how far back it really goes.
posted by
Templestars at 10:26 AM
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wMonday, February 09, 2004 |
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I can't stand to fly. I'm not that naïve.
I'm in a melancholy mood this afternoon. Not entirely sure why. It's just kinda painful. Wish I could forget it all, ya know?
The bugger of it all is that I don't even know what it is I want to forget. Or what I want to do.
I used to think that I actually understood the way I think. Now I'm not so sure. It's distracting and awful, and I can't train myself to stop thinking like that. I can't train myself to stop thinking at all. I want to break something. I want to obliterate it.
They say that those best suited to power are those that don't want it. I don't want power, but I don't want power because I know that it would corrupt me. Absolute power and all that. I'm too... self-serving for it to be otherwise.
On second thoughts, I've decided to keep this blog. I can say things here I dare not say in the other, and vice versa. Everybody has secrets, and this is my way of keeping them while still using my blogs as catharsis. And, in the mood I am, I can't bring myself to care if no one understands. Though I feel sure they do.
Besides, as far as I know, only ... two people know the addresses of both my blogs. And please... if you're reading this, don't do what we did to Belinda all those years ago and go looking for my blog. I know why we did that. But I also understand why she did it.
I am perfect. I don't exist in this stupid human world.
posted by
Templestars at 5:54 PM
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wThursday, February 05, 2004 |
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Never turn your back on it. Never turn your back on it...
I've decided. I'm going to let this blog die. What do I need it for? I have an LJ now. Courtesy of Alyce.
Hee. That's not what I set out to say here. Bad me. I set out to say: I've decided. I'm going to go to Griffith Uni.
But instead I just let my mouth run away with me. I do so love telling the truth like that. Even if it gets me into trouble. *smirk* Sometimes it's just nice to set people in their place or on their ear.
And Cy? Bler to you. *snerk* Cic decided that you should be a prefect? Okay, what'd you bribe him with? ;) Acutally, didn't Professor Maelstrom say he had something to do with our selection? That really bugs me; not knowing who Professor Maelstrom is. *ponders the mystery* *is obtuse*
...again.
posted by
Templestars at 12:24 PM
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wThursday, January 15, 2004 |
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You hold me to a story that I told. Who wouldn't trust a person if they said it was true?
Wow. Hasn't it been a depressingly long time since I posted here.
Looking back at my last 'real' post, so very much has happened since then. And most it has been virtual. My friend G asked me to explain what 'prefect status' means, so I'll just start there. It means that on that wonderful site, VH I was given moderator access. Kind of. I only have it in *counts* three threads. But I do have a Shiny P, and that just means everything.
*L* What I don't get is just why Cy, Oz and I were made new Python Prefects. I mean, we must have been just about the worst candidates. And I don't mean that we're mean to anyone *cough*Gala*cough* but it's just that VH is very big on 'family friendliness' and, uhh... Well, lets just say we three have the fine art of innuendo down pat. At any rate, after being chastised by our higher-ups a time or two, we've restrained ourselves to *think*ing. *snickers*
What else? I've been doing a lot of writing recently. There's this one story that I've been working on. It seems pretty popular. I enjoy, anyway. And I can't wait to get to the chapter where I reveal my big twist. People have been guessing, but so far only one person has managed to get it exactly right... *annoyed* ;)
Real life? What's that? No actually, real life likes to butt in every now and then. And no matter how hard IU try to ignore it, it doesn't work. The upshot of that being that I'm going back to uni. I think. I didn't get into UQ like I was hoping. I think I have a shot at QUT though. But I can't decide if it or GU is the better uni for arts. Though, I do think that, if I can get back in, it'll have to be QUT, because GU doesn't offer night classes, and I don't want to have to quit my job to go back to uni.
Did I mention that I almost moved to New Zealand. Well, okay not almost. But I could have. I was offered a job there. But there was two major problems. 1: I don't deal overwell with change. And 2: I don't really think that I would have been able to handle the job all that well, no matter what my bosses thought. *shrugs* Either way, I'm not going. And I don't regret it.
Mum and Dad have been trying to comvince me to buy a car. I think I might have to cave. Waht with going back to uni and all. But it's just going to eat into the money I've got saved for a trip to Europe. Which is uber naff. But I'll get over it. So long as I don't have to quit work.
Anyway, I think I'll quit typing now. My fingers hurt and I have a headache.
I'm not crazy. Or anything.
posted by
Templestars at 4:45 PM
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wWednesday, December 17, 2003 |
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WOOOHOO! I made Prefect status!
posted by
Templestars at 6:03 PM
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